It seems like lately everyone is getting sick. The usual cold, sore throat, cough, achy body, etc. I'm pretty sure this drastic change in Chicago weather has a lot to do with it. It seems to go from warm to cold to rainy and then that rotations restarts, but not necessarily in that order.
It seems I'm the next one to be getting struck with this damned cold/throat thing. I woke up this morning and I blew my nose more times than I could tell you. I was coughing left and right and my throat had that imfamous cold-coming-on feeling. That slimy meets scratchy feeling. You know what I mean. Anyways, here I am at work counting down for the weekend to begin and instead of looking forward to the weekend, here I am dreading it because I'm pretty sure my time away from work is going to consist of cold meds and sleeping. Ugh!
Being sick sucks! What sucks even more is when your sick on a weekend. I'm not saying I enjoy being sick when I have to come into work, but at least you know that your not missing much when you feel like hell on a work day. It's like you either call in and dope yourself up on cold meds while you alternate between napping and watching crappy daytime TV or you go into work and just work very half-assed while you daydream about being in bed. You know everyone you'd rather be spending time with is more than likely also at work and couldn't hangout anyways so you're not losing much being sick on a weekday. On the weekend; however, being sick means you miss out on fun and getting things done that you want to get done. It's like those 2 days off go to waste.
I'm hoping that making a Walgreens run after work to get myself some cold meds and start taking them tonight will help me avoid the worst of this wretched cold. It doesn't always seem to work that way, but once in awhile I get lucky. Let's hope this is one of those times.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Vi's Gamer Types
I've been thinking about this a lot since I got back into gaming more regularly and I've realized that I have my own catagories of the types of gamers that are out there. Granted, I've based these gamer types mostly on the kind of people I come across while playing WoW; however, when I was thinking about it, these are pretty much fitting for the type of gamers that exist in any game you can play (mostly online since you interact with other players).
I've broken the list down to the 4 types of gamers and here they are:
~ The Know-It-All Gamers (aka Elitists): These are those gamers that you come across that pretty much tell everyone what to do, what not to know, how to do everything, and pretty much try to lead the group of people regardless of whether or not the game consists of an actual group/raid leader. These are the people that will try to run the show and be the best of the best even when it's a group effort and everyone has the ability to shine. They are the ones that insist on doing things their way or not at all. I find many of these people are probably bringing this pushy playing style into the gaming world to make up for a lack of control in the real world. I also refer to these gamer types as "Elitists" because they have to have everything go 100% perfect, otherwise they have a fit, start swearing up a storm, or leave everyone else in the group high and dry because they can't deal with imperfection. Regardless of what makes these players the way they are, they are often the people that everyone else in the group hates.
~ The Dumb Shit Gamers: These are the people that regardless of how long they've been playing a particular game, they still continue to ask a thousand questions that are either self explanatoy or are learned so early on into the game that there's no reason they shouldn't know this by now. The other people that fall under this catagory are those people that ruin the fun of gaming for everyone else because they either screw the whole group over and cause deaths/wipes or they do stupid things "for fun" when it's not something that's fun for anyone other than themselves. These are the people that I find often get kicked from groups because of the lack of patience everyone else in the group has for them. If the game doesn't allow a kicking from group ability, these are the people that cause the other gamers to step out of the group in order to keep their own sanity. These are also the gamers that almost everyone else in the group hates.
~ The Just-For-Fun Gamers (aka Casual Gamers): These are those laid back gamers that often could care less whether they win or lose as long as they are having fun doing it. They are the people that try to be the median between the other gamer types. They try to make sure everyone is just enjoying themselves and not fighting or ruining the game for others. Although these guys are fun to play with because they won't yell at you when perfection isn't achieved, they can sometimes be annoying when that competitive streak kicks in and you lose because they are brutally laid back. I'm not saying games are only fun when you win, but they aren't fun when you always lose. So, it's nice to be able to have at least a hair of competitive nature. Overall though, these are fun people to play with because at least you know everything will be civil.
~ The Cry Baby Gamers: These gamer types are different from the Elitist gamers to an extent, but also have some similar qualities. Like the Elitists, they want perfection, but the difference is that instead of being assholes when they don't get what they want, the get pissy and whiny when things don't work out in their favor. So, they don't they don't want perfection for the group, they only want perfection for themselves. They bitch and moan until they get their way. If a piece of armor drops that they want and they aren't the ones that win it or their overall DPS (Damage Per Second) isn't where they want it to be, they will make a scene until they either get what they way or things work in their favor. Often they are removed from group due to everyone being sick of the childish behavior. These are often children...literally. They act like kids because far too often they are children. They bring their temper tantrums into the gaming world when things aren't the way they want it to be. I can speak from experience, but I HATE gaming with kids. Sometimes you have no control over it because you don't always get to choose your groups in many games. Some groups are just randomly thrown together via an online grouping system (such as in WoW and many online XBox Live games). How do you know they are children? Well, either people ask and they answer honestly or you can verbally hear them over Ventrilo, TeamSpeak, the XBox Live chat feature, etc. You can hear that they're balls haven't dropped yet. Gaming with kids or cry baby gamers is a nightmare! It's like the gaming version of birth control.
Personally, I find myself falling under the "Just For Fun" gamer type, but I can honestly say that I have been known to be a bit more competitive than I describe these type of gamers to be, so there may be a streak of the "Elitist" gamer in me too. Overall though, I think I'm more in the "Just For Fun" since more often than not, I'm happy with just playing for fun than achieving an overall goal with the hope for as close to perfection as possible. It's called a game because it's meant to be played for the purpose of fun. Why some people take these games so seriously is beyond me. Regardless of why these people are they way they are, I thought it would be fun for me to throw together my own little list of gamer types based on the usual gaming styles I've come across. Hope you enjoyed my list! =)
I've broken the list down to the 4 types of gamers and here they are:
~ The Know-It-All Gamers (aka Elitists): These are those gamers that you come across that pretty much tell everyone what to do, what not to know, how to do everything, and pretty much try to lead the group of people regardless of whether or not the game consists of an actual group/raid leader. These are the people that will try to run the show and be the best of the best even when it's a group effort and everyone has the ability to shine. They are the ones that insist on doing things their way or not at all. I find many of these people are probably bringing this pushy playing style into the gaming world to make up for a lack of control in the real world. I also refer to these gamer types as "Elitists" because they have to have everything go 100% perfect, otherwise they have a fit, start swearing up a storm, or leave everyone else in the group high and dry because they can't deal with imperfection. Regardless of what makes these players the way they are, they are often the people that everyone else in the group hates.
~ The Dumb Shit Gamers: These are the people that regardless of how long they've been playing a particular game, they still continue to ask a thousand questions that are either self explanatoy or are learned so early on into the game that there's no reason they shouldn't know this by now. The other people that fall under this catagory are those people that ruin the fun of gaming for everyone else because they either screw the whole group over and cause deaths/wipes or they do stupid things "for fun" when it's not something that's fun for anyone other than themselves. These are the people that I find often get kicked from groups because of the lack of patience everyone else in the group has for them. If the game doesn't allow a kicking from group ability, these are the people that cause the other gamers to step out of the group in order to keep their own sanity. These are also the gamers that almost everyone else in the group hates.
~ The Just-For-Fun Gamers (aka Casual Gamers): These are those laid back gamers that often could care less whether they win or lose as long as they are having fun doing it. They are the people that try to be the median between the other gamer types. They try to make sure everyone is just enjoying themselves and not fighting or ruining the game for others. Although these guys are fun to play with because they won't yell at you when perfection isn't achieved, they can sometimes be annoying when that competitive streak kicks in and you lose because they are brutally laid back. I'm not saying games are only fun when you win, but they aren't fun when you always lose. So, it's nice to be able to have at least a hair of competitive nature. Overall though, these are fun people to play with because at least you know everything will be civil.
~ The Cry Baby Gamers: These gamer types are different from the Elitist gamers to an extent, but also have some similar qualities. Like the Elitists, they want perfection, but the difference is that instead of being assholes when they don't get what they want, the get pissy and whiny when things don't work out in their favor. So, they don't they don't want perfection for the group, they only want perfection for themselves. They bitch and moan until they get their way. If a piece of armor drops that they want and they aren't the ones that win it or their overall DPS (Damage Per Second) isn't where they want it to be, they will make a scene until they either get what they way or things work in their favor. Often they are removed from group due to everyone being sick of the childish behavior. These are often children...literally. They act like kids because far too often they are children. They bring their temper tantrums into the gaming world when things aren't the way they want it to be. I can speak from experience, but I HATE gaming with kids. Sometimes you have no control over it because you don't always get to choose your groups in many games. Some groups are just randomly thrown together via an online grouping system (such as in WoW and many online XBox Live games). How do you know they are children? Well, either people ask and they answer honestly or you can verbally hear them over Ventrilo, TeamSpeak, the XBox Live chat feature, etc. You can hear that they're balls haven't dropped yet. Gaming with kids or cry baby gamers is a nightmare! It's like the gaming version of birth control.
Personally, I find myself falling under the "Just For Fun" gamer type, but I can honestly say that I have been known to be a bit more competitive than I describe these type of gamers to be, so there may be a streak of the "Elitist" gamer in me too. Overall though, I think I'm more in the "Just For Fun" since more often than not, I'm happy with just playing for fun than achieving an overall goal with the hope for as close to perfection as possible. It's called a game because it's meant to be played for the purpose of fun. Why some people take these games so seriously is beyond me. Regardless of why these people are they way they are, I thought it would be fun for me to throw together my own little list of gamer types based on the usual gaming styles I've come across. Hope you enjoyed my list! =)
Monday, September 19, 2011
Positive changes need to happen
It seems like for months now, I've been in this perma-down-in-the-dumps mood. Yeah, that's a mouth full. It seem like no matter what I do or what I try to do for myself, that mood doesn't seem to be changing. I know a lot of those negative feelings and that sour mood would change with a new job, but since that doesn't seem to be happening yet, I need to find things that will bring my mood up in other ways. I really want to make some changes that won't just be temporary, but things that can get me out of this funk and keep me going continually.
For starters, I need to get back into working out more than once a week. When I workout regularly, I notice that my overall mood is improved significantly. I don't plan on being a workout nazi to the point when I make that my life and force others into that lifestyle, but I know for me I need to get back into my 4-day a week routine. Those 4-days a week used to keep my mood pretty damn good for the week and it also was a stress reliever for me, which I know I very much need.
I also want to do some things that are just good for the soul, like donating blood every so often (or other type of charity based events) or just getting together with friends for a night of laughs. I've been a little distant with people lately, but it's because I'm trying to get myself to a happier place and I really needed some "ME" time. Not to mention I know what it feels like to hangout with someone when they are in a funk and it results to the whole group kind of being down, quiet, or distant. I didn't want to be the cause of that weird feeling or mood. The problem is, that even that ME time hasn't helped, so I'm considering doing the exact opposite. Maybe surrounding myself with friends and laughs every so often would help. I read an article recently about things that just naturally can bring happiness to people and being surrounded by positivity and good friends was one of the things on that list. So, I may have to do just that.
Another thing I need to do is try to push the negativity from my life. I know I can't control negative people and feelings all the time, no one can, but I can definitely distance myself from it. Work is a big place for me to be surrounded by negativity, which I obviously can't avoid. What I can do though is just breath and walk away as needed when something that's bringing on high stress levels or bitching from the people I have to deal with. I do this already on occasion, but definitely not nearly enough. Usually I sit there, bitch a fit to someone, and remain angry and frustrated over whatever the situation or person that caused it. If you read my previous post, I've dealt with a lot of backstabbing at work lately and this has brought me to the point of wanting to find a new way of handling my aggravation and stress at work. I have to find a better way to deal with it for now. Eventually I'll be free of this place, but as long as I'm stuck here, I need to find a way to handle the things that have been breaking me down lately. So, this is why I'm trying to find positive ways to deal with the negatives around here. Outside of work though, I can't say I deal with much negativity, at least on a regular enough basis to where changes need to be worked on. The main negatives outside of work have to deal with myself and that's what I've been working on and will continue to work on.
All around, I have to surround myself with as much positivity as I can to get me in a better overall mood. I'm tired of feeling depressed, down, unappreciated, stressed, etc. I need to find ways to deal with all these things and more to get me back in a mood I'm happy with. I hate being in these kind of moods and I know it affects those around me, which I hate more. I don't like affecting other around me negatively. So, changes have to start to happen for the better, not just to help myself, but to help the relationships around me.
For starters, I need to get back into working out more than once a week. When I workout regularly, I notice that my overall mood is improved significantly. I don't plan on being a workout nazi to the point when I make that my life and force others into that lifestyle, but I know for me I need to get back into my 4-day a week routine. Those 4-days a week used to keep my mood pretty damn good for the week and it also was a stress reliever for me, which I know I very much need.
I also want to do some things that are just good for the soul, like donating blood every so often (or other type of charity based events) or just getting together with friends for a night of laughs. I've been a little distant with people lately, but it's because I'm trying to get myself to a happier place and I really needed some "ME" time. Not to mention I know what it feels like to hangout with someone when they are in a funk and it results to the whole group kind of being down, quiet, or distant. I didn't want to be the cause of that weird feeling or mood. The problem is, that even that ME time hasn't helped, so I'm considering doing the exact opposite. Maybe surrounding myself with friends and laughs every so often would help. I read an article recently about things that just naturally can bring happiness to people and being surrounded by positivity and good friends was one of the things on that list. So, I may have to do just that.
Another thing I need to do is try to push the negativity from my life. I know I can't control negative people and feelings all the time, no one can, but I can definitely distance myself from it. Work is a big place for me to be surrounded by negativity, which I obviously can't avoid. What I can do though is just breath and walk away as needed when something that's bringing on high stress levels or bitching from the people I have to deal with. I do this already on occasion, but definitely not nearly enough. Usually I sit there, bitch a fit to someone, and remain angry and frustrated over whatever the situation or person that caused it. If you read my previous post, I've dealt with a lot of backstabbing at work lately and this has brought me to the point of wanting to find a new way of handling my aggravation and stress at work. I have to find a better way to deal with it for now. Eventually I'll be free of this place, but as long as I'm stuck here, I need to find a way to handle the things that have been breaking me down lately. So, this is why I'm trying to find positive ways to deal with the negatives around here. Outside of work though, I can't say I deal with much negativity, at least on a regular enough basis to where changes need to be worked on. The main negatives outside of work have to deal with myself and that's what I've been working on and will continue to work on.
All around, I have to surround myself with as much positivity as I can to get me in a better overall mood. I'm tired of feeling depressed, down, unappreciated, stressed, etc. I need to find ways to deal with all these things and more to get me back in a mood I'm happy with. I hate being in these kind of moods and I know it affects those around me, which I hate more. I don't like affecting other around me negatively. So, changes have to start to happen for the better, not just to help myself, but to help the relationships around me.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Trust no one!
I've come to realize that no one can be trusted and I shouldn't trust much of anyone unless it's someone that's a big part of my life and I've known them long enough to do so. Everyone else can go on my "Do Not Trust" list. No, I don't actually have one, but it's a mental thing.
It seems that as of lately, people just randomly will delete me on FB. No biggie since I'm not into FB like I used to be and barely even check it anymore. Not to mention, those that have deleted me are the people I barely speak with ever on there or in person. Then there are others that will be your friend to your face then snitch on you and make you look bad at work. There are also those people that you thought were your friends, but they instead just find nothing but negatives in you or something you do. I'm done completely with people. If this brings me down to having almost no friends except for my long-term buddies, then so be it. I'm done with the childish behavior and drama. I'm 29, which is way past being a child.
Today I dealt with 2 different things that have pushed me into this whole thought process. The first one being that one of the people I considered a really good friend confronted me via e-mail after I invited her out to lunch that she's mad at me because she thinks I avoided plans with her and some other people and lied about it all. The plans she's referring to involved my boyfriend, myself, her, her husband, and one other co-worker of ours and her boyfriend. Due to a transportation situation that weekend, we cancelled plans which was a blessing to my boyfriend since my one co-worker gets on his nerves. I'm not going to lie, she is loud, obnoxious, annoying, and can easily get under people's skin. I'm not denying that part, but she was there when the plans were made and you can't make plans around people and then not invite them. That's a total dick move. Anways, now I'm trailing off the topic. So, when I cancelled the plans I only explained the transportation situation and she said she understood. Now today, about 2 months later, she confronts me telling me she's been pissed at me this whole time because she thinks Sal and I avoided hanging out with and her husband and made up an excuse to get out of it. Wow! It took her 2 months to confront me that she thought I was lying?!?! I explained EVERYTHING and she seems like she understood, but I'm done trying to work things out. Obviously staying mad at me this long over something that was an assumption doesn't show a good friendship there and makes me feel like I'm not worth it to her. Well, I'm not going to bend over backwards anymore. I'm done!
Then after that whole situation, I had one of the managers at work that likes me tell me that a bunch of the people around me and my fellow secretaries are complaining about us behind our backs to their managers and ours that we complain too much at work and talk too much and keep them from doing their work. When she named some of the people to me, these are the same people who crack jokes with us and act cool with us. Don't act like our friend or like you like us if you're going to snitch on us behind our backs and try to get us in trouble. Being backstabbed or dealing with two-faced people is one of my biggest pet peeves ever. I'm so done! I'm going to just sit in silence for the rest of the time I'm working in this shitty shit hole and I'm going to push my continuous job hunting into overdrive. If I can't talk casually with the people around me or vent once in awhile about things both inside and outside of work, then fuck it. I never remember reading the employee manual and it say that speaking wasn't allowed. Maybe they should reprint those manuals and add that in big bold print so that we're all aware of it and know that talking at work is punishable by death. /eyeroll
So, long story short, I'm done trusting people and I'm done bending over backwards for people. I'm going to just live my life in way where I don't have people to trust and I will just keep everything inside (the good and the bad). I'm done feeling like I need to work on changing aspects of myself that don't need changing. I have a lot of changes I need to make to myself, but there are also things that I always considered good traits to have and the good traits I'm not changing to cater to the assholes around me. I'm done!
/endrant
It seems that as of lately, people just randomly will delete me on FB. No biggie since I'm not into FB like I used to be and barely even check it anymore. Not to mention, those that have deleted me are the people I barely speak with ever on there or in person. Then there are others that will be your friend to your face then snitch on you and make you look bad at work. There are also those people that you thought were your friends, but they instead just find nothing but negatives in you or something you do. I'm done completely with people. If this brings me down to having almost no friends except for my long-term buddies, then so be it. I'm done with the childish behavior and drama. I'm 29, which is way past being a child.
Today I dealt with 2 different things that have pushed me into this whole thought process. The first one being that one of the people I considered a really good friend confronted me via e-mail after I invited her out to lunch that she's mad at me because she thinks I avoided plans with her and some other people and lied about it all. The plans she's referring to involved my boyfriend, myself, her, her husband, and one other co-worker of ours and her boyfriend. Due to a transportation situation that weekend, we cancelled plans which was a blessing to my boyfriend since my one co-worker gets on his nerves. I'm not going to lie, she is loud, obnoxious, annoying, and can easily get under people's skin. I'm not denying that part, but she was there when the plans were made and you can't make plans around people and then not invite them. That's a total dick move. Anways, now I'm trailing off the topic. So, when I cancelled the plans I only explained the transportation situation and she said she understood. Now today, about 2 months later, she confronts me telling me she's been pissed at me this whole time because she thinks Sal and I avoided hanging out with and her husband and made up an excuse to get out of it. Wow! It took her 2 months to confront me that she thought I was lying?!?! I explained EVERYTHING and she seems like she understood, but I'm done trying to work things out. Obviously staying mad at me this long over something that was an assumption doesn't show a good friendship there and makes me feel like I'm not worth it to her. Well, I'm not going to bend over backwards anymore. I'm done!
Then after that whole situation, I had one of the managers at work that likes me tell me that a bunch of the people around me and my fellow secretaries are complaining about us behind our backs to their managers and ours that we complain too much at work and talk too much and keep them from doing their work. When she named some of the people to me, these are the same people who crack jokes with us and act cool with us. Don't act like our friend or like you like us if you're going to snitch on us behind our backs and try to get us in trouble. Being backstabbed or dealing with two-faced people is one of my biggest pet peeves ever. I'm so done! I'm going to just sit in silence for the rest of the time I'm working in this shitty shit hole and I'm going to push my continuous job hunting into overdrive. If I can't talk casually with the people around me or vent once in awhile about things both inside and outside of work, then fuck it. I never remember reading the employee manual and it say that speaking wasn't allowed. Maybe they should reprint those manuals and add that in big bold print so that we're all aware of it and know that talking at work is punishable by death. /eyeroll
So, long story short, I'm done trusting people and I'm done bending over backwards for people. I'm going to just live my life in way where I don't have people to trust and I will just keep everything inside (the good and the bad). I'm done feeling like I need to work on changing aspects of myself that don't need changing. I have a lot of changes I need to make to myself, but there are also things that I always considered good traits to have and the good traits I'm not changing to cater to the assholes around me. I'm done!
/endrant
Monday, September 12, 2011
Love is in the air
This was a great weekend full of love, happiness, joy, smiles, family, and friends. I took Friday off since it was the day of the wedding rehearsal, dinner, and the day all us girls were getting our nails and pedis done with the bride. Relaxing and fun.
Then on Saturday was my buddy Carmen's wedding. It was beautiful! She looked amazing! The ceremony went perfect, the reception was a blast, and I only cried 3 times throughout the night (when Carmen walked down the aisle with her father, when her and her hubby said their vows, and the father/daughter dance at the reception). Sal took tons of pictures with my camera and I'll have to filter through them soon and see which ones I can print or e-mail to the bride and groom. The only bad thing about the night was that the headache I had for part of the day turned into a migraine and I had to leave the wedding a bit early, but at least I stayed the night at my sweetie's place and the next morning (still with my head feeling terrible), he held me and made me feel loved and cared for.
Then on Sunday was mine and Sal's 7 year anniversary. We kept it simple and casual and we just spent the day together and got lunch just the two of us at Red Lobster. Other than that, we kept the day the same as any other day, but we made sure it was just us two. Over lunch though, I really was ready to get teary eyed because we literally talked about almost nothing except our future wedding plans. I don't know if it was the experience of the beauty and happiness of the wedding we attended the night before or if it was just the romance of spending some one-on-one time on our anniversary or a combo of both. Regardless though, it felt amazing to talk in such depth with Sal about our future wedding plans.
We covered everything from who we would want to stand up in our wedding, who we'd consider being our best man and maid of honor, how many guests we'd want, who we'd have to and want to invite to the wedding, the color scheme, the possible location, etc. We literally discussed in depth what we would be interested in having as our wedding. I know we're serious about getting married. I know we're the ones meant to be together. It just touched me to see that we actually took that next step of mentally planning how we would want our wedding to go.
As of right now our future plans goes like this, first we need to move out of our parents houses. We're currently saving up and plan on starting to look at places come January. Then after we move out, we'll do the whole engagement thing. Maybe not immediately since that leads to planning a wedding and money will be tight at first, but it will definitely be shortly after moving out. Then we'll get married when we have our date picked. From there life will just happen and fall into place.
It's the moments that this weekend brought that make me happy. It's the moments that make all those terrible work weeks seem non-existant. I wish I could feel as happy as I was this weekend all the time. It's definitely a feeling I could get used to.
Then on Saturday was my buddy Carmen's wedding. It was beautiful! She looked amazing! The ceremony went perfect, the reception was a blast, and I only cried 3 times throughout the night (when Carmen walked down the aisle with her father, when her and her hubby said their vows, and the father/daughter dance at the reception). Sal took tons of pictures with my camera and I'll have to filter through them soon and see which ones I can print or e-mail to the bride and groom. The only bad thing about the night was that the headache I had for part of the day turned into a migraine and I had to leave the wedding a bit early, but at least I stayed the night at my sweetie's place and the next morning (still with my head feeling terrible), he held me and made me feel loved and cared for.
Then on Sunday was mine and Sal's 7 year anniversary. We kept it simple and casual and we just spent the day together and got lunch just the two of us at Red Lobster. Other than that, we kept the day the same as any other day, but we made sure it was just us two. Over lunch though, I really was ready to get teary eyed because we literally talked about almost nothing except our future wedding plans. I don't know if it was the experience of the beauty and happiness of the wedding we attended the night before or if it was just the romance of spending some one-on-one time on our anniversary or a combo of both. Regardless though, it felt amazing to talk in such depth with Sal about our future wedding plans.
We covered everything from who we would want to stand up in our wedding, who we'd consider being our best man and maid of honor, how many guests we'd want, who we'd have to and want to invite to the wedding, the color scheme, the possible location, etc. We literally discussed in depth what we would be interested in having as our wedding. I know we're serious about getting married. I know we're the ones meant to be together. It just touched me to see that we actually took that next step of mentally planning how we would want our wedding to go.
As of right now our future plans goes like this, first we need to move out of our parents houses. We're currently saving up and plan on starting to look at places come January. Then after we move out, we'll do the whole engagement thing. Maybe not immediately since that leads to planning a wedding and money will be tight at first, but it will definitely be shortly after moving out. Then we'll get married when we have our date picked. From there life will just happen and fall into place.
It's the moments that this weekend brought that make me happy. It's the moments that make all those terrible work weeks seem non-existant. I wish I could feel as happy as I was this weekend all the time. It's definitely a feeling I could get used to.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
I need that push...hard.
It's been awhile since I've last posted, but it's mostly been because I've been doing a lot of thinking. Mostly just getting my thoughts straight. I've had a lot on my mind lately regarding work, life, friends, future plans, etc. So, instead of doing the world's longest blog post about everything I was thinking about, I simply just let myself think, which was much needed.
One of the things that I was thinking about, also one of my most stressful thoughts was my lack to be able to get back into a healthy groove. It's like I was doing awesome, then I slacked during and shortly after vacation. I got back in a slight groove for a short while, but then it's like I just didn't care. The problem is that I do care. I want to get back in shape sooooooo badly and I'm just struggling to get myself to stick with it. I've successfully been working out (running) 1 day a week, but that's not nearly enough. I used to workout about 4 days a week and I'm capable to still do that, I just don't for whatever reason.
My eating habits have also gone to shit. I love healthy food, but it seems that as of lately that I'd rather eat something fast food or filled with sugar instead of what I know I should be eating. I don't get it! This is something I both want and need so badly, but I'm neglecting it completely for no reason that I can think of other than laziness and the fact that I'm ignoring my will power. I also think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm a stress eater and I've been extremely stressed out lately and worrying about more things than I can handle, which has lead me to shove more in my mouth than I ever should.
I've put on about 10 of the pounds I've lost which breaks my heart. I lost 48 pounds total, then gained 10 back. I'm not saying that 38 pounds lost isn't still great, but I was doing awesome and I could continue to do awesome, but I'm slacking badly. It's like I need a push from someone, but things just don't seem to be going my way. I know I don't need a workout buddy. I know this because I've almost always done it alone and never struggled to get myself to continue with my routine. There's that part of me that feels like I should have someone though to push me. Someone to force me to go do my workouts 4 days a week and not allow myself excuses. I know I don't have anyone that can or will do this for me, but I feel like this is almost what I need, at least until I get back in the groove of things. I need that hard push!
After this weekend I think I'm going to try my best to push myself again. I know you should never set a date to get back into a healthy lifestyle, you should just do it, but this weekend I'm standing up in a wedding and when it comes to weddings you have no control over the food selection, then there's open bar, and wedding cake. I don't see this weekend being healthy. So, after this weekend, I'm going to try to attempt to give myself that hard push. I don't know if it will stick, but I'm really getting down over the weight gain after working so hard. I need to try to make this healthy routine stick. I HAVE TO!
One of the things that I was thinking about, also one of my most stressful thoughts was my lack to be able to get back into a healthy groove. It's like I was doing awesome, then I slacked during and shortly after vacation. I got back in a slight groove for a short while, but then it's like I just didn't care. The problem is that I do care. I want to get back in shape sooooooo badly and I'm just struggling to get myself to stick with it. I've successfully been working out (running) 1 day a week, but that's not nearly enough. I used to workout about 4 days a week and I'm capable to still do that, I just don't for whatever reason.
My eating habits have also gone to shit. I love healthy food, but it seems that as of lately that I'd rather eat something fast food or filled with sugar instead of what I know I should be eating. I don't get it! This is something I both want and need so badly, but I'm neglecting it completely for no reason that I can think of other than laziness and the fact that I'm ignoring my will power. I also think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm a stress eater and I've been extremely stressed out lately and worrying about more things than I can handle, which has lead me to shove more in my mouth than I ever should.
I've put on about 10 of the pounds I've lost which breaks my heart. I lost 48 pounds total, then gained 10 back. I'm not saying that 38 pounds lost isn't still great, but I was doing awesome and I could continue to do awesome, but I'm slacking badly. It's like I need a push from someone, but things just don't seem to be going my way. I know I don't need a workout buddy. I know this because I've almost always done it alone and never struggled to get myself to continue with my routine. There's that part of me that feels like I should have someone though to push me. Someone to force me to go do my workouts 4 days a week and not allow myself excuses. I know I don't have anyone that can or will do this for me, but I feel like this is almost what I need, at least until I get back in the groove of things. I need that hard push!
After this weekend I think I'm going to try my best to push myself again. I know you should never set a date to get back into a healthy lifestyle, you should just do it, but this weekend I'm standing up in a wedding and when it comes to weddings you have no control over the food selection, then there's open bar, and wedding cake. I don't see this weekend being healthy. So, after this weekend, I'm going to try to attempt to give myself that hard push. I don't know if it will stick, but I'm really getting down over the weight gain after working so hard. I need to try to make this healthy routine stick. I HAVE TO!
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