It's been awhile since I've last posted, but it's mostly been because I've been doing a lot of thinking. Mostly just getting my thoughts straight. I've had a lot on my mind lately regarding work, life, friends, future plans, etc. So, instead of doing the world's longest blog post about everything I was thinking about, I simply just let myself think, which was much needed.
One of the things that I was thinking about, also one of my most stressful thoughts was my lack to be able to get back into a healthy groove. It's like I was doing awesome, then I slacked during and shortly after vacation. I got back in a slight groove for a short while, but then it's like I just didn't care. The problem is that I do care. I want to get back in shape sooooooo badly and I'm just struggling to get myself to stick with it. I've successfully been working out (running) 1 day a week, but that's not nearly enough. I used to workout about 4 days a week and I'm capable to still do that, I just don't for whatever reason.
My eating habits have also gone to shit. I love healthy food, but it seems that as of lately that I'd rather eat something fast food or filled with sugar instead of what I know I should be eating. I don't get it! This is something I both want and need so badly, but I'm neglecting it completely for no reason that I can think of other than laziness and the fact that I'm ignoring my will power. I also think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I'm a stress eater and I've been extremely stressed out lately and worrying about more things than I can handle, which has lead me to shove more in my mouth than I ever should.
I've put on about 10 of the pounds I've lost which breaks my heart. I lost 48 pounds total, then gained 10 back. I'm not saying that 38 pounds lost isn't still great, but I was doing awesome and I could continue to do awesome, but I'm slacking badly. It's like I need a push from someone, but things just don't seem to be going my way. I know I don't need a workout buddy. I know this because I've almost always done it alone and never struggled to get myself to continue with my routine. There's that part of me that feels like I should have someone though to push me. Someone to force me to go do my workouts 4 days a week and not allow myself excuses. I know I don't have anyone that can or will do this for me, but I feel like this is almost what I need, at least until I get back in the groove of things. I need that hard push!
After this weekend I think I'm going to try my best to push myself again. I know you should never set a date to get back into a healthy lifestyle, you should just do it, but this weekend I'm standing up in a wedding and when it comes to weddings you have no control over the food selection, then there's open bar, and wedding cake. I don't see this weekend being healthy. So, after this weekend, I'm going to try to attempt to give myself that hard push. I don't know if it will stick, but I'm really getting down over the weight gain after working so hard. I need to try to make this healthy routine stick. I HAVE TO!
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