My body hates me!

More often than not, I can't get a good nights sleep.  No matter how tired I am when I go to bed, I still seem to lie awake for at least an hour, usually longer.  I seem to toss and turn all night long.  Then, of course, there is me not being able to fall back asleep most of the time if I wake up in the middle of the night for anything.  God forbid I need to make a washroom run or if there is a loud crack of thunder that awakes me.  It's like my body just hates me enough to make me go through the whole process of hoping to fall back asleep and instead lay there for at least a good hour.

I was diagnosised with sleep apnea quite a few years back.  I had this surgery done on my nasal passage that was supposed to alleviate whatever causes me to snore and have the sleep apnea.  Well, here I am still snoring.  Do I still have the sleep apnea?  I don't know.  I never went back to get the final sleep study to confirm whether or not the surgery actually took care of the problem.  Those sleep studies are not just awkward, but they are uncomfortable.  Not to mention, the place I had it done at had this creepy old guy that watched the monitors that watched us sleep.  No thanks!  I'll pass on enduring that again.  So, it's possible that my sleep apnea was never fully taken care of and that might be adding to the lack of sleep I get at night.  Who knows!

I also sometimes wonder if my bed is to blame.  Watching all those commercials for the Sleep Number bed and the Tempurpedic bed make me wonder if I'm getting a crappy sleep because of my crappy bed.  That bed has to be like 15 years old, if not older.  The frame is bent and the mattress is lumpy.  I'm not being judgemental, I'm being honest.  My bed sucks!  Can I blame my bed for a lack of sleep?  I'm sure it's at least particially to blame.

My lack of a good night's sleep I think is mostly blamed on stress though.  I'm always worrying about something.  Whether it's dreading the next day of work, worrying about my parents, worrying about random plans made going smoothly, worrying about money, and just worrying about life's plans in general.  It's like I can't be worry or stress free.  I know stress can take a toll on the body to the point where as important as sleep is to make you less stressed, stress will cause you to get less sleep.  It's kind of ironic if you think about it.

Regardless of what's to blame for the lack of sleep that I've seemed to be suffering from for many months now, it's frustrating and my body is definitely taking a toll from it.  Mostly my mood.  This is why I'm convinced my body hates me.  It won't meet in the middle with me and attempt to fix any possible problems that may be causing my sleepless nights.  Granted, my body and I can't meet in the middle in regards to getting a new bed, but the rest of the possible reasons for not sleeping I think my body can work with me on.  I think I'll need to have a long talk with my body because relationships should be 50/50.